Sunday, January 17, 2010

No Further Uneasiness

I'm still here. I promise. I know I've said it before, but I am...I'm here. Reading over my last post, which was way back in June, it's fun to see what has changed in the past 6 months. The sweltering weather that I enjoy so much in the summer turned to cool Fall days and then to a downright freezing, somewhat dreary Winter. The plants I planted went from looking like this...


...to this...


Why I haven't uprooted them and planted something else, I have no idea.

While there are no gardenias that reside on my bedside table anymore as they did back in June...
...it's interesting to see what now rests on my bedside table...


In June, I was rereading Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. If you haven't read this book, you should! It had a profound impact on my life! And the sequel is just as powerful. My sweet friend, Jenn Klein, gave me a gift card to Barnes & Noble for Christmas so I used it to buy Joanna Weaver's next book, Having a Mary Spirit. I thoroughly enjoy the quiet time I get to spend each day learning more about our Lord and how He is working in my life.

A few days ago, I was reading about a monk, Brother Lawrence, who joined a monastery in an effort to serve God. With all of his effort, he tried to be holy and without sin but he constantly failed. When he succeeded, he gave all credit to the Lord. When he failed, he acknowledged how dependent he was on the Lord to do right. And then "he gave himself no further uneasiness about it."

I've been thinking about that quote a lot in the past few days..."he gave himself no further uneasiness about it." Can you imagine how your life would be if you could acknowledge when you screw up and then walk away from it, knowing that you are forgiven? I still have uneasiness about the garage sale I attempted to have 2 years ago that I overpriced everything and only made $80! Every time I see a garage sale sign, my heart begins to race thinking about how I could have/should have done things differently.

Lately, there have been so many other situations that have made me feel uneasy and I pray that God gives me a spirit like Brother Lawrence had 300 years ago to acknowledge his sin, pray to the Lord for forgiveness, and then have "no further uneasiness about it."

"It is not that I have already taken hold of it or have attained perfect maturity, but I continue my pursuit in hope that I may possess it, since I have indeed been taken possession of by Christ Jesus. Brothers, I for my part do not consider myself to have taken possession. Just one thing: forgetting what lies behind but straining forward to what lies ahead, I continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God's upward calling in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:12-14


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Back in June, I was just getting back into knitting and had NO IDEA how addicted I would be by now! The weeks leading up to Christmas were consumed with yarn and needles and handmade crafts all over the house. I've come to love to knit and have to stop myself sometimes from finding another project to start! There's something very forgiving about knitting something. There is always a mistake in any project that I do, and for the most part, I just don't care....in fact, you might say that I go on about the project with "no further uneasiness." Oh, if only every other area of my life could be that way! Here's a sample of what I've done so far...and there's only more to come!